check points

Yesterday, a friend (hi, Deb!) shared an awesome parenting tip regarding activity decision-making.  The reference was to sports, but the concept can be applied across the board for many age groups.

Ask the following three questions:

1. Is he/she learning?
2. Is he/she improving?
3. Is he/she having fun?

Short, sweet, substantial.  Love it!  Do you have any quick parenting tips to share?

“God gives every bird his worm, but He does not throw it into the nest.”  ~ P.D. James

real lessons

What a GREAT book!  Use What You’ve Got & Other Business Lessons I Learned from My Mom, by Barbara Corcoran (with Bruce Littlefield)

Marrying lessons she learned from her mom during childhood to the world of business, Barbara Corcoran gives a wealth of transferable concepts & skills.  The stories entertain, the teachings inspire, & the lessons reveal true life applications for parents, families, teachers, & business leaders.  Ms. Corcoran shares struggles, failures, processes & successes of her life while highlighting the journey as the joy.

Favorite points & quotes:

• systems make a well-run house & office
• color code, be fair, give appreciation, make a “good idea” box
• identify what motivates people
• raises are soon forgotten–try unexpected bonuses
• play together
• “good performances are a result of great preparation“
• on bad days, reframe perspective

“And that was my mother’s genius.  She kept her house going by putting her finger on the special gift she saw in each of her children, & making each & every one of us believe that gift was uniquely ours.  Whether it was true or not, we all believed it.”  ~ Barbara Corcoran

risk vs. reward

As we learn more about the human brain & its development, we can apply more effective parenting & teaching strategies to help kids mature.  Inspiration & information for today’s blog comes from:  National Geographic’s October 2011 article Beautiful Brains by David Dobbs.  Another fabulous, entertaining article full of relevant & eloquently written discoveries.

Starting with points we know & have now been proven via MRI science & studies.  Adolescence can be:

• emotional, trying
• a risk taking era
• a time when social interactions greatly influence motivation & behavior
• full of inconsistent behavior

From age 12 thru 25, “….brains undergo a massive reorganization…”  “…as we move through adolescence, the brain undergoes extensive remodeling, resembling a network & wiring upgrade.”  The brain “upgrade” directly impacts performance, behaviors, etc..  Plus, positive or negative (stress, fatigue) variables add another layer to behaviors & decisions.  Other points to keep in mind:

• teens tend to have a high regard for reward gleaned from taking a risk even though they may realize the consequences on a cognitive level (ie. they’re not stupid)
• risk taking with success contributes to being able to adapt
• the brain matures from back to front

Switching gears…consider the following important fact:

“The United States spends about a billion dollars a year on programs to counsel adolescents on violence, gangs, suicide, sex, substance abuse, & other potential pitfalls. Few of them work.”

HUH.  Are you surprised?  What has the greatest impact on kids?  PARENTING!

• share the brain development process with kids
• guide children, do not helicopter parent
• connect with kids & encourage independence
• have patience!!
• let kids fail..it is the best way to learn & the perfect lab to exercise  adaptation skills
• remember that building social relationships is key to their success now & in the future

“Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.”  ~Laurence J. Peter

quoi?

A new book is out, purportedly about how French parents’ parenting is, in some ways, superior to Americans’.  (Bringing Up Bebe:  One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting  by Pamela Druckerman)

controversial laced generalizations = press = sales traffic   Capice?

Here’s where parents get into trouble:  comparing & competition

Take what you want out of parenting books, trust your instincts, & pray.

My top parenting tips:

• be consistent
• spend toooonnnnssss of time together
• love, hugs, love, hugs, love
• share dinner together
• make home a sanctuary of peace, enthusiasm, exploration, creativity & relaxation

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”  ~Robert Fulghum